Dec 6, 2019 | Care Conversations
Surely self-esteem is a good and healthy thing? Aren’t we continually told that self-esteem is vital for both mental and emotional health? Isn’t it the basis of the contemporary “wellness” concept?
People who don’t feel good about themselves seem to become dissatisfied and insecure; unpleasant and troubled. Some attribute this to their lack of self-esteem which affects everything they do, every relationship, in a negative way.
Doesn’t a healthy community build people up and cause them to feel good about themselves? Isn’t it true that those who view themselves positively have “high self-esteem.”? Those who view themselves negatively, have “low self-esteem.” Thus, our role as education leaders is to ensure that everyone develops “high self-esteem.”
We argue that this causes them to be happier people and, as a consequence, life is more pleasant for everyone else.
The problem with the idea of low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the focus upon “SELF’ as the determinant.
Self-esteem is a transactional concept. There is a need for us to feel worthy, capable and competent in order to be at peace with ourselves. We are thus doomed to a view of a person that rises and falls according to the criteria used to evaluate their worth. There is nothing secure here.
It’s behavioural and conditional. It leads to absurdities where we congratulate people for poor effort and low outcomes, because if we don’t, we might harm their “self-esteem”. Any criticism is viewed as harmful to the way we see, and feel, about ourselves – no resilience is possible with this concept. It is a dangerous view of life.
Christ-esteem isn’t a focus upon self. It is a focus AWAY from self, and upon Jesus Christ. We have innate dignity; intrinsic value. We are God’s created people; we have redemption available to us through Jesus. Then, we have the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit.
Our confidence is not based on our own abilities or inabilities; not on our success or failure – but on our identity in Christ. This does not produce self-esteem but humility. This humility, which brings peace and joy, is NOT a focus on worthlessness. It is a focus upon HIS greatness.
Self-esteem, whether high or low, is false and fragile. It causes us to strive for the wrong things. We will never be satisfied until we stop trying to build up our opinion of ourselves, agree with God that we are deserving of death, and rejoice in the perfection of Jesus Christ, who has purchased us and imparted to us His own righteousness.
“The Christian Gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and snivelling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.”
[1]
[1] Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism
Dec 4, 2019 | Care Conversations
The Scriptures are replete with the command to be thankful and express gratitude.
I am indebted to Dr Ted Boyce who, many years ago, pointed out to me the simple lesson that all our gratitude is to be expressed to God who is the author, provider and sustainer of all things. So, we are to thank God for people who serve, contribute, assist or positively impact the lives of others.
Naturally, this sent me on a search of the Scriptures – and what did I find?
“First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you…” Romans 1:8.
“I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Corinthians 1:4.
“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.” Philippians 1:3.
After reading these verses, do you see the pattern?
Galatians and Titus are the only two letters of Paul that do not overtly express this thanksgiving to God for people. Galatians is a letter expressing shock and grief at the rejection of the true Gospel. So rather than giving thanks, Paul grieves over the Galatians. When he writes to Titus, it is again with shock and grief, because rebellious and deceptive preachers were disrupting the Body of Christ.
So, Paul states “we thank God for you…”. We thank God for the gifts He has given you…”.
Our school culture needs to be one that recognises the goodness of God at all times and in all places. We, and our students, need to know that seeing and rejoicing in the goodness of God is not the same as thanking God only when He gives us all that we want.
Our understanding of thankfulness is not to be determined by the “positive” things we might receive or the ease and comfort of our circumstances.
Thankfulness is linked closely with trust. We will not be genuinely thankful to God until we recognize that we’re dependent on Him for all that we are and all that we have.
We need to know Three Things:
- God is Sovereign and purposeful
- God is good and loving
- God will always do right
Paul tells us that when we are thankful; when we live without complaint, it will cause us to “shine like stars” because this thankfulness will be so counter to the surrounding culture. [1]
We trust you will embrace thankfulness and express gratitude to God in all of life.
[1] Philippians 2:14
